Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts
Friday, February 23, 2007
This guy is in line
This guy is in line at the Super Market when he notices a hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is stunned that such a hottie would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind remembers back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful to his wife, "Christ!" he says, "Are you that stripper at my bachelor party I had on the pool table in front of all my friends, while your partner whipped me with wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?"
"No" she coldly replied, "I'm your son's English Teacher."
Monday, July 24, 2006
Not Since 1955!
A crusty old U.S. Army Sargeant found himself at a gala
event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies
in attendance, one of whom approached the Sargeant for
conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sir, but you seem to be a very serious
man. Are you this way all the time, or is something
bothering you?" "No," the Sargeant said, "Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and
said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sargeant's short reply was, "Yes, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation,
said, "You know, you should lighten up a little-- relax and
enjoy yourself." The Sargeant just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't
take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had
sex?" The Sargeant looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, that's the hang-up-- you need to chill out
and quit taking everything so seriously. I mean, no sex
since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?" The Sargeant, glancing at his watch, said in his
matter-of-fact voice, "Oh, I don't know. It's only 2130
now."
event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies
in attendance, one of whom approached the Sargeant for
conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sir, but you seem to be a very serious
man. Are you this way all the time, or is something
bothering you?" "No," the Sargeant said, "Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and
said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sargeant's short reply was, "Yes, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation,
said, "You know, you should lighten up a little-- relax and
enjoy yourself." The Sargeant just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't
take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had
sex?" The Sargeant looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, that's the hang-up-- you need to chill out
and quit taking everything so seriously. I mean, no sex
since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?" The Sargeant, glancing at his watch, said in his
matter-of-fact voice, "Oh, I don't know. It's only 2130
now."
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